Happy hump day.
We have had a couple of very warm day. I love it but feel for those who have work directly in.
I have come to realize that opening up and sharing my self with someone is very scary for me. If I let someone know what I am feeling it is a huge risk. It’s a risk of rejection. The fear of being told that they don’t care about how I feel. I lived like that for many years. That is why I will often let others know that that are more than allowed to feel how they do.
I recognize clearly that I can’t control how someone with react when I decide to share something. I think that is why I am so careful when I decide to share and what.
A very dear friend of my mine told me this week that I was very broken for a long time. That a man I had dated took so much from me. That any man that I were to date long term now would have to be very patient with me. She is right. There are many pieces to still put in place for me to be whole. I am so guarded and cautious.
Giving physically is easy, sharing emotionally and mentally is very difficult. It’s a whole other level. I want to..I am ready to. I need him to be patient and let me know that he can be. When I meet him I guess I will know…